I’m not from Nigeria
Self Editor’s Note: How do you explain, America, that in one week three journalists have asked Our Man in America, “Are you from Nigeria?”
I USED to think that only the American guys at the warehouse where I toiled for eight years, packing boxes, stocking shelves and driving forklifts, were geographically retarded. Then I somehow became educated and started hanging out with the so called middle-class Americans — averagely educated folks that think they know it all.
What shocks me is how ill informed they are — despite the education they have paid top dollar to obtain from universities. Now, I have no problem with the guy working down at the car rental desk not knowing that not all Africans are from Nigerian. Come to think of it, I don’t even give a damn if any American thinks that Kenya is a little village outside Accra, Nigeria. What pisses me off is when they try to come out as intelligent — when they try to show you that they are smart enough to guess exactly where you are from.
In the past week alone, three people, including one I had met several times, asked me if I’m from Nigeria. I have nothing against my Nigerian brothers and sisters, so being mistaken for one of them is not what angered me. What pissed me off is that all three are people who work in the media — journalists and editors.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about the same freaking people supposed to explain the world to “the taxi driver.” (Journalism schools and newspaper editors tell us to dumb down our writing for the taxi driver. They are too dumb to even know that many taxi drivers in the United States have PhD’s but can’t get jobs anywhere because their doctorates aren’t American).
Even my freaking warehouse manager who had not gone beyond high school knew not to assume. “Assume means you make an ass out of you and me (ass-u-me),” he used to say.
What made me even more pissed off is that the last person to ask me if I was from Nigeria, a journalist I met Saturday at a workshop at the University of California, Berkeley, tried to defend herself from the apparent ignorance when I told her I’m Kenyan.
“Well, it’s close,” she said.
“Come on!” I said, looking straight into her eyes. “Kenya is nowhere close to Nigeria. Is New York close to California? I think you should have asked me, ‘Where are you from?’”
She looked at me as if by correcting her I was the one being rude. But I understand. Usually they do not expect anyone to challenge what they think they know. And whenever that happens, someone at the table changes the subject.
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What's wrong with them thinking you are from there? You look it! Okonkwo's cousin to be precise. Bobby Okoth(Quote) (Reply)
Bobby, do you really think they know who Okonkwo is? Edwin Okong’o(Quote) (Reply)
in related news… you don't need a passport to travel to New Mexico. Frankie Ortega(Quote) (Reply)
You must have mentioned to him that you are in need of transferring millions of dollars you inherited from a relative that died in a plane crash.lol Paul Waithaka(Quote) (Reply)
I was tickled , as always, by your ‘ass-u-me’ new found meaning.
This is not a new American phenomenon.
I have been asked the same damn question over and over till I have come to adjust and live with it.
I came to find solace in a book entittled ‘The start of American unreason” by a Ms Jacobe; that chronologically follows the downward spiral of American ignorance of the outside world. Charles Nyangau(Quote) (Reply)
Nyang’au, by, “downward spiral” do you mean the level of American ignorance is plummeting? Edwin(Quote) (Reply)
That is because Americans can be very limited. If you speak Spanish-you are Mexican. If you look Asian-you are Chinese. If you are Black with an accent-you are Jamaican.And, if you are black with an accent, but not a Jamaican-you are Nigerian. It is simple as that. That why we are one of the leading Nations. Duh! Yvonne Verita Woodard(Quote) (Reply)
Interesting stuff. I wish you guys would leave the comments on my blog, though, so the National Dumb Ass-ociation of Journalists can read. (They haven't discovered Facebook yet.@Paul, Let me do the jokes. In fact, Nigerians did not start the 419 scams. Americans and Europeans have been doing them against elderly people for centuries, both through small-scale fraud and at the stock market level. It is when someone that isn't American or European outdoes them that it becomes a crime.And the last time I was in Nairobi I saw one of your relatives at a cybercafe, composing an e-mail about having tons of gold he needed help to move out of Kenya. The guy was in tatters <== that's a good word, Paul. He wore sandals that had holes in the heels. He must have just returned from the mines. Why don't you help him, Paul?Damn, I hate how a simple provocation leads me to spend two minutes lecturing a guy on Facebook! Edwin Okong’o(Quote) (Reply)
Ah but lets be honest…we Africans do the same…..all whites come from Europe (most commonly London)….all asians are from china… Any crime…large or small scale is a crime.Please lets not make the mistake of condoning any worng doing "cos others have done it". Ida Nganga(Quote) (Reply)